Fake Nipples?!!? - How NOT To Sell A Bad Product

There's an ancient proverb in internet marketing - a good product with bad copy will always outsell a bad product with good copy. 

But what if you've got a REALLY bad product? In this video, we're going to look at another top quality informercial to see how it's done. Or ...not.

OK, Let's take a quick look at what you're in for. Brace yourself ....



Oh. My. God. 

I'm trying to imagine what it was like for the creative guy in the agency that got that gig, the day his boss walked in said "ok guys, we've got a new client. I need you to write an ad for fake nipples"

I mean, where do you start. Well they got it done, for better or worse. Let's break it down ...

0:04

So .... straight in with the testimonial actress. Note she's speaking straight into the camera, not talking off camera, which I think is a mistake in this case, but what the hell.

"As a wife, mother AND former beauty pageant winner" ... so the writers obviously though let's cast the net wide, we'll go for slightly frumpy girls who are either married or have kids, and most importantly, used to be the prettiest girl in show.

"I love to look my best" .. are you for real? If you look at her face for just a split second before she says stick nips you can see she's thinking "I can't believe I'm saying this shit!!"

0:07

OK, dowdy mum number 2. They're really trying to push on the self esteem angle. Given the dire material they've got to work with, the ad writers are taking a safe approach but the execution is lacking...

0:19

Now they completely lose control. We've gone from frumpy mums to corporate babes, I just love the opening shot of that monologue with the young woman's bust juxstapositioned with a powerpoint bar chart in the background. They've lost big credibility here, whatever they had, let's keep going

0:31

Back to frumpy mums, it's a repitition on frumpy mum 2. Possibly unnecessary with this product, since I think most people got the idea after 10 seconds

0:35

Frumpy mum 4, and at last a semi-convincing benefit. If they'd spent the whole video gunning for the cheated wife market, I think they may have sold a couple more nipples, but hey, there you go. Just don't make anyone think about what the guys eyes are going to be doing when his wife's under garments come off.

0:40

Hammering it home now, oh dear ...

0:46

So, I guess they're resolving objections here, in case you're sat on the couch thinking "Oh, I'd like a pair of these but what are they made of" or "I'm not sure they'll match my skin tone"

0:56

The final push, they've given up and cast the net to the selective demongraphic of "women of all ages". Hell, why not target men as well? 

These gems will cost you a mere $19.95 and somewhat unsurprisingly, no bonuses. Couldn't they have at least chucked in a complimentary Stick Nip Glue pack?

END

And Frumpy mum 1 is back to recite her lines. Wow. I feel violated

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